A Story Like Any Other
by Drindalis
Summary: Crack. Why do lots of the stories in this category have basically the same plot? This is what I aim to find out. PLEASE DO NOT GET MAD AT ME IF YOU FIND A CHAPTER BASED OFF OF YOUR STORY IN HERE, THIS IS JUST FOR FUN AND I MEAN NO DISRESPECT!
1. Comatose

It was another day at Duel Academy. Except everyone was all sad and stuff because Jim, Jesse, and Axel were leaving to go back to North Academy; where they come from apparently, which makes perfect sense since two of them have southern accents. Jaden was bawling, because Jaden is a sissy who cries a lot, like when he fought the Seven Shadow Riders, the Light of Ruin, and Yubel. Chazz was all angsty and emo under a tree, because he is like a vampire and can't go into the light, and was muttering "Chazz it up!" under his breath. Syrus and Zane were on the ground, ignoring everyone else as the contemplated whether or not their Japanese names have u's in them. Hassleberry was off doing strenuous exercise to keep his huge muscles, because it's extremely difficult to draw a card without straining something. Alexis was trying to decide what kind of shoes she was wearing. "Hmm, it kinda looks like a boot in some episodes, but more like a moccasin thing in others…" No one knew where Bastion was. They lost him in Season 2.

Anyway, everyone left except Jaden and the three transfer students. They stared at each other for a while, then Shirley began chewing on Axel's leg. Axel freaked out and ran onto the ship, Jim following him. Jesse smiled. "Bye, Jay!" he said, waving, oblivious to Jaden's emotional breakdown. He jumped on the ship. It left. Jaden fell into a coma. Syrus found him the next day in the same position as he was the day before, only less talkative. Actually, Chazz had found him first, late at night, when he was out plotting vengeance against his brothers. Because in all actuality, Chazz is a complete rip-off of Sasuke. Anyway, Chazz took the opportunity to do the mature thing and drew all over Jaden's face with a permanent marker. The immature thing was to call Ms. Fontaine for help. Yeah. Screws over your logic, doesn't it? Anyway, when they got Jaden to the nurse's office, Ms. Fontaine had Chazz beat the living crap out of Jaden to make sure he was in a coma, instead of just using special equipment designed for that purpose. Maybe Ms. Fontaine is still angry that Jaden didn't save her from duel zombies in episode one twenty something.

So, once they figured that out, Sheppard decided to call Jesse to do something about it, because Jesse is cooler that Dan Green and maybe even Chuck Norris. **"DJG! That joke is way overused!" "Shut up Muse. Quit quoting littlekuriboh."** So, um _anyway_, apparently his duel spirits knew how to wake up Jaden, but to do so Jesse has to make out with his face. So, he did, because according to some people, all the characters want to make out with Jaden, like Syrus, Alexis, Jesse, Yubel, Bastion, and the creepy pirate guy who even went as far as _kidnapping him._ But I'm getting off topic. So Jesse used Sapphire Pegasus's special ultra mega uber-awesome secret attack of pwnage, otherwise known as…TOTAL LACK OF PRIVACY BY INVADING YOUR HEAD AND SNOOPING AROUND IN PLACES WE KNOW WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT WANTED!** "But DJG, all the Crystal Beast's attacks have some kind of crystal reference in them!" "…Fine. Be that way!" **So Jesse used Sapphire Pegasus's special ultra mega uber-awesome secret attack of pwnage, _AGAIN, _otherwise known as…CRYSTAL TOTAL LACK OF PRIVACY BY INVADING YOUR HEAD AND SNOOPING AROUND IN PLACES WE KNOW WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT WANTED ATTACK!

So Jesse, Sapphire Pegasus, and Ruby Carbuncle all went to Detroit…I mean, Jaden's head, and found him, like, right away. But Sapphire Pegasus shot him because he was mad that they had to ride on a boat to get back to the Academy. And Sapphire Pegasus gets seasick. Jaden pouted. "You could've just taken a bus!" Sapphire stared at him. "This is an island! Bus…?" Chumley popped out of nowhere. "That is _my_ line!" Jaden fell to the ground and started dying. "Not really! You were just there when I originally said it! Quit trying to sound cool, no one likes you!" And then he went 'bleh', which is the classic way people die in amine or manga. Jesse face palmed. "You realize the whole reason we came here was to _save_ Jaden, not shoot him." Sapphire looked at the ground. "Oh, yeah." Then Yubel came by. "Hiya, Anderson! And his stupid talking horse! By the way, that wasn't Jaden, that was some hippy voodoo crap left over from when he dueled Belowski!" Then she/he/it flew away, not even questioning why Jesse and Sapphire were there. "Stupid trassexual. I knew that already!" Sapphire said. Jesse looked at him. "You mean you knew that, so that's why you shot it, so it wouldn't hurt us?" Sapphire looked around. "Yeeeeaaah…let's go with that."

So they ran around for a while, until they found a huge lake of eeeeeeeeevvvviiilll. Sapphire Pegasus snorted. "The water is cold and stuff! And the real Jaden is under there, drowning as we speak! I say screw 'im!" Jesse growled at him. "No. I have to save him because apparently I love him and if Spiritshipping doesn't exist, half of the Yu-Gi-Oh GX fics will disappear and slowly, this category will disappear due to lack of interest. And then I'd be bored." So Jesse dove into the water, even though it should have killed anyone who touched it or whatever, but since Jesse is a mixture of Chuck Norris, Dan Green, and a Powerpuff Girl. **(Come on, his duel monsters are a mix of jewels, ponies, kitties, and Arnold Schwarzenegger!)** Jesse saved him. And they came back to reality and stuff. And Jaden woke up. "JadenIluvu!1eleven!" Jesse screamed into his face, using the power of text-talk. "AndInoeuluvme2,cuzuwentin2acomacuzileft!eighty-four!" Jaden snickered. "Actually-"*flashback* "Wait…what the heck is that? No! No flashbacks that take up half the episode, I'll just tell him-*flashback* "Dang nammit!"

*_Flashback*_

Jaden was all sad because Jesse left. So he decided to have Chazz teach him how to be depressed and emo. So they sat down and angsted for a few hours, then a random piece of paper flew into Jaden's face. Jaden read it and fell into a coma. It said: Attention Duelists! Dorothy has regretted to inform me that Pharaoh ate all the fried shrimp in the school, and we won't be getting more until you all graduate. Sux 2 B U. Then Chumley walked by and read it, only since Chumley is high on grilled cheese, to him it read something like this: Attention grilled cheese! Dorothy has grilled cheese to inform grilled cheese that Banner's stupid cat ate all the grilled cheese on planet Earth and grilled cheese is extinct. And by the way Chumley, NO GRILLED CHEESE! So Chumley also fell into a coma, only Chazz pushed him into the ocean. 'Cuz that is the mature thing to do. So Jesse and Jaden got together, and they all lived happily ever after. Now review fast or die slow.

**DJG: "That may be the most depressing thing I have ever written."**

**Muse: "It's called crack for a reason."**

**DJG: "Good point."**

**Muse: "I hope someone flames us, I really do."**

**DJG: "Why?"**

**Muse: "So in the next chapter we can humiliate the living daylights out of them by giving them their own OC and having horrible things happen to them."**

**DJG: "Oooh, good idea!"**


	2. Attack of the Mary Sues!

It was another random day at Duel Academy-wait. Why do these fics always start with day? Screw that! It was another random mid-morning at Duel Academy, and a boatload of new people that are probably crappy OC's and Mary-Sue's had arrived. One particular female got off, holding a bag of designer pants, shoes, shirts, and every accessory on planet Earth. "So this is Duel Academy." she said in a musical voice. "I must celebrate my arrival by forcing the author to write a three-paragraph description of what I'm wearing, because all the readers are sure to be wondering what I look like!" She pulled out a whip. I screamed and ran for my life.

She had long, waist length hair that made Alexis's hair look like moldy straw. Only her hair was awesome because it changed color with her mood, thanks to her supermajikalmajorawesome duel spirit, Light and Darkness Dragon. Everyone ignored that fact that she somehow stole it from Manjoume, defying the laws of time, space, and conversion of anime into manga. She was wearing a short miniskirt with beads all over it that reflected sunlight to burn the eyes out of people she didn't like. Her top was a Duel Academy vest like Blair's only she was so good at dueling she already had one, and it was red, yellow, _and_ blue! She was wearing boots that went up to the middle of her thighs and were also red, yellow, and blue, and somehow didn't clash with her currently purple hair.

She had bright blue eyes that made Syrus's puppy dog eyes look like a rabid hyena. She also had an undefeated deck of _lurve _monsters and perfectly manicured fingernails. She also had strange powers, from Light and Darkness Dragon. She could predict the future, go through walls, steal other people's powers, fly, control the weather, extend claws from the back of her hands, teleport, shoot lasers from her eyes, change into animals, knew every martial art known to mankind, was smarter than Bastion (we still don't know where he is) could earthbend, firebend, airbend, and waterbend, could go Super Saiyan, was the Chosen One, could breathe underwater, was the King of Games, a witch, a vampire, a werewolf, the Burger King, the Dairy Queen, a famous politician, could read minds, heal people, freeze time, was the sixth hokage, a genin, chunin, jounin, and an ANBU. She could turn invisible, was invincible, immortal, and a vampire slayer. She also was magnetic, could grow wings and fly faster than 200 mph, change her appearance, and was a Pokemon Master. She had caught 'em all. She also had an evil alter ego, the Supreme Queen. She had a long and dark past, and was an orphan, and can speak every language in existence.

Her name was Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl. And this _is _three paragraphs! Yes, it is too long enough! No I will not make it longer! Put that whip away! Gah! Stop! You are MEAN!

Now that the Mary Su- *sees her crack the whip and glare menacingly* Uh, I mean, Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl, has stopped abusing the writer, she got off the boat and skipped to the Slifer Red Dorm, because she had decided that was where she would sleep. No questions were

asked by the staff. Chazz, on the other hand…

"WHAT TO YOU _MEAN, '_A NEW STUDENT'! WE ALREADY HAVE WAAAAY TOO MANY! SHE AIN'T SLEEPIN' IN MY ROOM! WE ALREADY GOT YOURS TRULY, SHORT STUFF, HASSLEBERRY, SLACKER, BANNER'S STUPID CAT, BANNER, AND CHUMLEY'S OLD GRILLED CHEESE GROWING UNDER THE BED! WE DON'T NEED ANY MORE-"

That's enough of that for a while. We'll get back to him later. Anyway, Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl decided to go find Chazz and duel him into dating her, and if he was boring she'd duel Jaden, or maybe Jesse. And yes, she already knows who they are. See extremely long list of powers above. And so, she found Chazz and challenged him to a duel. Being Chazz, he said yes. "On one condition, though!" Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl said. "Wait, you challenged _me_." Chazz said. "Way to state the obvious, Chazz!" Syrus muttered. "Yeah. The conditions are if I win, you have to be my boyfriend 'til the end of time!" Chazz frowned. "But me and Alexis are-" "Shaddup you foo!" she screamed. Chazz paled.

So Jesse decided it would fit to turn up right then, at the worst possible moment, because all the characters seem to do that. "Hey, Sy, why're Chazz and some Mary-Sue dueling?" Ignoring the evil look Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl gave him and Jesse, Syrus answered. " Oh, that's Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl, and she's dueling Chazz because she wants him to be her boyfriend. Or something." So Jesse and Syrus sat down and watched the duel commence. "I'll go first, because it's ladies first!" She screamed. She did that a lot, in case no one noticed. Jesse rolled his eyes. "Then they need to flip a coin or somethin', cuz there ain't no girls here!" Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl glared at Jesse so intently that her hair caught on fire and so did the backdrop.

She drew five cards at once, using all of her above skills, plus the power of 4Kids, which made her do it while not dropping any or look stupid, she just looked like she had too much free time. And since I fear the whip, I'm going to stop insulting her now. By the way, Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl, where did you get the whip? HubbaWHA! From one of my reviewers in a different category? Since when can you leave the Yu-Gi-Oh GX category? And how long have you been reading my reviews! You've only existed for nine paragraphs! Hmpph.

Chazz drew his starting hand, and Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl drew a card. "I summon the Three Ancient God Cards, the Three Sacred Beasts, and Exodia all at once, ignoring the fact that I only have five monster slots and had only six cards in my hand! And I play a spell card that I obviously pulled out of my sleeve, Love at First Sight! It enables me to destroy every card in your deck, hand, graveyard, removed from play and on your field, and inflict battle damage equal to all those cards times 1000! I win!" Chazz's eye twitched.

Then Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl decided that now that she had an emo boyfriend, she should duel Jesse to have _two_ boyfriends! So she dueled Jesse and beat him by mystically drawing a trap card that allows you to select any number from one through four, and whatever number you pick, your opponent loses that many life points times 1000. So she picked four. The card's name was Sux 2 B U.**(DJG! You used that joke in the last chapter! Shut it, Muse! I honestly don't think anyone will care!)**

She decided that since she beat Jesse, she would get all the rights to all the capitols on Academy Island.

jaden was wandering around the island, looking for jesse so they could go be a couple or whatever, and found Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl making out with him and chazz, taking turns so it was fair. "hey, can I have some capitols for my 'chazz it up?" chazz asked. Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl shook her head. she looked up and saw jaden and blushed, because in all reality she was just the work of a bored fangirl. "Hi, jaden yuki!" she squealed in pure girl. "I, lyke, totully wanna, lyke, dule u, so then, u'll, lyke, make owt wiv me, and we cen, lyke, get married and hav kyewt baybieeeees!" jaden's eye twitched. "you think you can get away with making out with _my_ boyfriend in front of me! i'll kill you, byoitch!" Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl's hair turned black. "You will DIEEEEEE!" she screamed.

so, they decided to end their evil battle and play a children's card game to settle it. Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl went first. amazingly, she drew a surprisingly crappy hand, because the power of 4kids was favoring jaden instead of her. it's like in rock paper scissors. in this case, jaden would be chuck norris, Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl would be paper, and chumley would be a pork sandwich in the corner. not really sure how he fits in here, but whatever. all the evil villains knew that.

so, jaden drew his hand, and drew his starting card. "hmm. how can I make this duel interesting without completely copying littlekuriboh or funkymcfunk? oh, screw it." "i activate polymerization and fuse avian and burst lady…oops, I mean burstinatrix, _crap i thought i told syrus to put all my hot female japanese card versions in a _seperate_ container!_ in order to summon…elemental hero flame wingman!"

Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl snorted. "I can do way better than that! I draw!"

she gasped when she saw the card she drew. "Perfect! I sacrifice all the cards in my deck to summon…_**Dan Green**_!" everyone watching instantly gasped as the awesome form of _**Dan Green**_ came forth. it took the form of yugi and glared at jaden, who rolled his eyes. "you can't attack on the turn you summon it!" she looked confused. "Yes I can..." "not with the power of 4kids! i can alter the special abilities of any card that could prevent me from winning. i do it all the time." jaden smiled triumphantly. _"i have to beat that __**Dan Green**_ _card… and the only way to do that, is if i had my _own _**Dan Green**__…wait, i do have my own __**Dan Green**__! but what are the chances of me drawing it…" _jaden drew. "oh, pretty high, i guess. i sacrifice all the cards in my deck…and syrus-" "what?" syrus asked, before bursting into flames and screaming like Lindsay Lohan. **(No offense, fans of Lindsay Lohan…is this even how you spell her name?)** "-in order to summon…_**Dan Green Hero!**_ bursting up from the ground came _**Dan Green Hero**_, who took the form of mewtwo, because he apparently voices him too.

before jaden could attack, the sun came up,** (I didn't realize it had set…****Oh, come on Muse, you know how long duels in this show take! Good point…)** and since Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl is a vampire, (See huge list of powers above) she kinda died. So everyone got their capitols back, and Jaden and Jesse were reunited. Chazz had to make a mad dash for the shade under his tree, and Syrus came back to life from being sacrificed as a tribute in a child's trading card game. Wow. How many people get to say that happened to them in their lifetime?

* * *

**DJG: "Next chap is instant messaging. It's done, but I'm not gonna post it til tomorrow. I don't wanna spoil you guys."**

**Random people: "SPOIL US!"**

**Muse: "Hey, she said SHE wouldn't post it. I never said I wouldn't!"**

**DJG: "You wouldn't DARE!"**

**Muse: "I guess we'll find out, won't we? =3"**


	3. Instant Messaging?

_EHeroSliferSlacker has logged on._

_BlueHairedMidget has logged on._

_TheChazz has logged on._

_CrystalBeastLuvr has logged on._

_IHateJaden has logged on._

_EHeroSliferSlacker: _yo

_TheChazz: _shut up, slacker!

_CrystalBeastLuvr:_ dont be so mean chazz

_BlueHairedMidget:_ yeah, chazz!

_EHeroSliferSlacker: _why do our usernames all suck?

_TheChazz_: mine doesnt suck! its cool!

_CrystalBeastLuvr: _shut up, chazz

_BlueHairedMidget: _yeah, chazz!

_IHateJaden:_ because the author wanted all our usernames to say something about us

_BlueHairedMidget_: yeah, mine says somethin about me…

_CrystalBeastLuvr: _wait…whose IHateJaden?

_EHeroSliferSlacker:_ Jesse, you hate me!

_CrystalBeastLuvr: _no! I was

_EHeroSliferSlacker has logged off._

_CrystalBeastLuvr: _well, crap.

_TheChazz: _idiot

_CrystalBeastLuvr_: shut up, chazz

_BlueHairedMidget_: yeah, chazz!

_EHeroSliferSlacker has logged on._

_EHeroSliferSlacker:_ im changin my username to somethin that fits me better

_EHeroSliferSlacker has changed their username._

_Season4Emo:_ thats better.

_IHateJaden: _you broke the fourth wall! how dare you!

_CrystalBeastLuvr: shut up, IHateJaden_

_BlueHairedMidget: yeah, IHateJaden!_

_IHateJaden: _you're all retarded, especially you, slifer slacker!

_Season4Emo has logged off._

_TheChazz: ssssssooookay…_

_CrystalBeastLuvr: _think I know who 'IHateJaden' is.

_BlueHairedMidget: _me too.

_IHateJaden has changed their username._

_ImATransvestite:_ no u don't

_TheChazz: _…

_BlueHairedMidget: …_

_CrystalBeastLuvr: …_

_**3 minutes later…**_

_ImATransvestite: _This is Jaden, and it looks like someone accidentally threw Crowler out of his window and beheaded him on the way down. Shame, shame.

_ImATransvestite has deleted their account._

_TheChazz: _i bet Yubel did it

_CrystalBeastLuvr: _shut up, chazz

_BlueHairedMidget: _yeah, chazz!


	4. Everyone Gets A Sex Change!

Through a plot twist I'm too lazy to explain, all of the characters we all know and love are now the opposite gender of what they were originally! YAY GENDERBENDER!

Jaden looked around, feeling a lot like Blair, in reverse. She blushed for no reason. And since I'm creepy, let's tell the whole world her bra size! YYYYYAAAAAAAYYYYY CREEPYNESS! LOL, jk, jk. Doing that would distract people from the rest of this grrrrrrrreat story!

Chazz kicked down the door of the red dorm, screaming swear words at the top of her lungs. "WHY DO I HAVE BOOBS, SLACKER!" She was followed by Syrus, Jesse, Hassleberry (teeheehee) Bastion, and Alexis. All of them were girls, except Alexis. And they were all wearing what they were before randomly growing boobs and other parts, so all the girls were okay, but Alexis…

"Gah! Don't look up my skirt!" He screamed in a masculine voice. He ran outside, found Atticus, who was mysteriously unaffected by the random sex-change, tackled him, ripped his clothes off, and ran away to go put them back together and wear them.

When Alexis got back, all the girls had calmed down, and decided to change their names to something more girly, so, I, the BRILLIANT author, will give them WAAAAY superspecialawesome names that are a win of epic proportions. Jaden changed her name to…_Jade_. Jesse changed her name to…_Jessie_. Syrus changed her name to…_Sylexis, _after her _lurvly _son/daughter/mutant spawn from last chapter. Hassleberry left to go get another sex change. Bastion's name is too hard to make feminine, so she just spelled her name backwards, so it was…Noitsab. Alexis changed his name to…_Alex._ Chazz changed her name to…_Future King Of Games and the Supreme Queen of Worchester Sauce. Otherwise known as JAZZ. _Then Jasmine, who also wasn't affected by the sex change because no one wants to see Jasmine as a dude, stormed in and molested Chazz for stealing her name. What….was that too weird?

Then, right as all hope was lost, and Hassleberry came back as a dude, everyone was reverted to the opposite gender of what they currently were due to something too weird to put into detail. So poor Hassleberry was a girl again. And now Jasmine is a boy because she was in the same room as the main characters. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He squealed masculine…ly, and ran out of the room screaming, "WHY CAN'T I BE AS COOL AS THE MAIN CHARACTERS! THE ONLY THING I DO IN THE SHOW IS GET KIDNAPPED BY AN EVIL ROBOT MONKEY THING!" Suddenly, Chris, having broke out of the Family Guy section, ran by, screaming a song that sounded suspiciously like "EVIL EVIL MONKEY! EVIL EVIL MONKEY!" So Atticus shot him with his ukelele. Yeah. Screws over your logic, doesn't it? AGAIN! PWNed! Moving on…

**DJG: "Sorry for taking so long to update, my long lost BFF is being held captive at my house for a week, so I can finally prove I can beat her at Guitar Hero 3! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!****EXCLAMATIONPOINT!"**


	5. The Horrifying Return of MS!

It was another somewhat normal day at Duel Academy. Only…..a creepy hand popped up from under ground and started pulling a body up! GAH! The beautiful yet sickeningly gross body looked around and laughed. "You will PAY, Jaden Yuki, for what you did to me! I WILL have my revenge on you, and you will DIE in a fiery explosion of blood and guts!" Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl said, rising from the hole that Jaden had dumped her in. She snickered evilly. "I have the perfect evil scheme for revenge!" She chuckled. "First, I will -censored- him, and then -censored- him in front of everyone! It's so brilliant!" Pegasus popped up as a random cameo. "What! You're going to censor Jaden-boy? You byoitch!" Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl rolled her eyes. "Nooooo, I'm going to -censored- him. It's different from censoring him." Pegasus pretended to understand. "Ahhh. OK." He ran away and fell in a hole.

Jesse and Jaden were out being a couple while Blair and Alexis worked on a plan to censor Jaden sometime, even though they knew it would probably fail. Sho and Ryo decided to defy time and space and use their Japanese names. "Hey, Syrus! Zane! Wanna go help me finish my cure to cancer? I'll let you distribute it in your name and take all the credit!" Bastion yelled. "Did you hear something?" Ryo asked. "Who's Syrus?" asked Sho. Bastion started bawling and ran away to hide for two seasons. Then Ryo and Sho ran off to practice their shipping, which has no name. Therefore, I have taken it apon myself to name it! And it's awesome name is…..oooohdrama…INCESTSHIPPING! YAY!eventy-seven! So all the Spiritshippyness and Incestshippyness was floating in the air in big, beautiful globs of pure fluff. Crowler inhaled a Spiritshipping fluff and choked, before being shot by Pegasus and then hit by a train. After that he fell in a hole. And won the best death award for 2007. Ignoring the fact that its 2010. Anyway…so Jesse ran away for a minute to taste the rainbow, and Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl kidnapped him with all of her awesome powers and _OHMIGODSHE'SGOTTHEWHIP._

She had long, waist length hair that made Alexis's hair look like moldy straw. Only her hair was awesome because it changed color with her mood, thanks to her supermajikalmajorawesome duel spirit, Light and Darkness Dragon. Everyone ignored that fact that she somehow stole it from Manjoume, defying the laws of time, space, and conversion of anime into manga. She was wearing a short miniskirt with beads all over it that reflected sunlight to burn the eyes out of people she didn't like. Her top was a Duel Academy vest like Blair's only she was so good at dueling she already had one, and it was red, yellow, _and_ blue! She was wearing boots that went up to the middle of her thighs and were also red, yellow, and blue, and somehow didn't clash with her currently purple hair.

She had bright blue eyes that made Syrus's puppy dog eyes look like a rabid hyena. She also had an undefeated deck of _lurve _monsters and perfectly manicured fingernails. She also had strange powers, from Light and Darkness Dragon. She could predict the future, go through walls, steal other people's powers, fly, control the weather, extend claws from the back of her hands, teleport, shoot lasers from her eyes, change into animals, knew every martial art known to mankind, was smarter than Bastion (we still don't know where he is) could earthbend, firebend, airbend, and waterbend, could go Super Saiyan, was the Chosen One, could breathe underwater, was the King of Games, a witch, a vampire, a werewolf, the Burger King, the Dairy Queen, a famous politician, could read minds, heal people, freeze time, was the sixth hokage, a genin, chunin, jounin, and an ANBU. She could turn invisible, was invincible, immortal, and a vampire slayer. She also was magnetic, could grow wings and fly faster than 200 mph, change her appearance, and was a Pokemon Master. She had caught 'em all. She also had an evil alter ego, the Supreme Queen. She had a long and dark past, and was an orphan, and can speak every language in existence.

The authoress collapsed after the largely strenuous exercise of copy and pasting and started twitching.

So when Jaden woke up from being kidnapped by the Mary- *sees whip* *dies* Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl, he found himself…in his room. "Bleep." Jaden bleeped. Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl chuckled evilly, and tied him to his computer chair that conveniently popped into existence right as I needed it. She opened a page and laughed evilly. Again. "Whatssamatta, Ju-chan?" she asked in such a sickeningly sweet voice that made me want to barf up things I have never eaten before. "Don't call me that! I'm not Japanese!" Jaden said, kicking helplessly. The chair tipped over. She laughed. Then Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl showed Jaden the worst torture imaginable. She gently leaned around him closely. Veeeeeeeery closely. She clicked a button on the screen and the window popped up. "AHHHHHHHHHH!fifty-two!111"

Jesse looked up from the rainbow he was eating, colorful goop all over his face. "Jaden? Jay-kun? Where are you!corndogs!1111" So Jesse let the half-devoured rainbow go, and began chasing after Jaden's voice.

"Gah! Stop! I don't like you, Mary-Sue! Don't touch me!"

"Come on, do it! It won't take that long and it won't kill you!

"Yes it will! Let go of my hand!"

This is what Jesse heard when he finally found out they were in Jaden's room. "Good God, is she raping him?" he thought, before peeking in the window. No, readers, what Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl was doing was not rape. It was worse. She was making him read this story, and submit a review saying she was his favorite character. She pushed on his hand, trying to make him type out the review. "NOOOO! LEGGO!111nytroglycerin!"

Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl pouted. This was the last straw. No more miss nice Mary-Sue. She opened a page that should never be opened. Possibly the dirtiest thing on this site. A threesome lemon of Jesse, Jaden, and Zane that resulted in an mpreg. Jaden couldn't help but read it. His eyes kept being magnetized to the screen. "AHHHHHH! IT BUUUUUUUUUURNS!" He screamed. Then, to finish the torture, she made him watch two girls, one cup, and two girls, one finger. Jaden passed out just as Jesse rushed in and gasped dramatically. "Gaaahhhaaasssaaappaaahh!"he gasped. "You killed Jaden! I kill you!"

Jaden looked up at him weakly from the floor. "Use…the card, J-Jesse…use...the _card…_" he held out a card and Jesse took it. Jesse gasped dramatically again. "Gaaahhhaaasssaaappaaahh! Jaden, I can't use this! I can't use **Dan Green Hero**! He's too cool for a backwards, downtown, homosexual cowboy like me to use!" Jaden grabbed the card, scribbled on it, gave it back, and died again. Jesse looked at it. "Perfeeeeeeeect! OK, byoitch! I sacrifice Zane's sexuality in order to summon…**Sherriff Dan Green Herooooooooooooooooooooo**!" Far away in Japan, where Ryo decided to be Zane for today; he suddenly began chasing Edo and Fubuki, glomping them the whole way and being very unKaiserly.

**Sherriff Dan Green Hero **kicked Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl's ass hardcore with a complete lack of detail so the authoress could decided whether Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl should be like Jason and not be able to die so she can kill her off again, and again, and again…or to just end it here. YOU DECIDE…..! No, seriously.


	6. Muse's Rant 1

**Muse: "DJG's brain committed suicide, so I guess it's up to me to introduce the chapter. GO ME! *cough* Anyway, I don't know if DJG mentioned this before, but there will NOT be a lemon chapter in here! She said, and I quote, 'that there is no way to make a lemon funny and not perverted! Let's try to keep this UNDER T rating, please…'. But I think she's wrong so, here ya go, the non perverted (almost) lemon parody, otherwise known as 'Muse Rant 1'!"**

Jesse was running around doing all the things teenagers usually do, like beating up Chuck Norris and kicking Satan in the balls…what…lots of teenagers do that, especially Jesse! How else could he pull off all the fanfictions where Jaden dies in his arms and is magically revived by the strength of his pure awesome sauce? And…being the main character helps. So, since Jesse was bored, he decided to help the environment and spread some pointless Spiritshipping fluff. "JADEN! WHERE FOR ART THOU, JADEN!" he yelled, running around. "Oh, crap! I forgot, today is Jaden's birthday! He turned eleventy-seven today!" (Since no one can settle on his age) "He probably has some leftover angst from Season 4 and is depressed that I forgot and is now slashing his wrists into raw hamburger as I speak!"

So Jesse ran off to Jaden's dorm, which is called the Slifer Red Dorm, ignoring the fact that it's painted yellow. So he finally got to the Slifer Yellow…I mean, Red, Dorm and was about to go inside when he heard voices inside. "So, you wanna try it?" Jaden said, Jesse's ears perking up. "You have one!" came the voice of Alexis from inside. "Yep, just got it for my birthday!" Jaden said. "I've never done _it_ before, but I've heard how cool it is from Atticus…" said Alexis. Jesse threw up in his mouth. "Come on, pleeeeease? It's really fun, you'll like it!" Alexis snorted. "You just tried it for the first time today!" Jaden laughed. "So? I'm better at it then you!" There was a squeak from inside, probably from Alexis getting up off the couch. "Well, we won't know unless I try it, now will we?" Alexis said in a low, teasing voice. Jesse's eyes had turned into anime-squiggles. "Yes! I'll get ready! You should, to, it's harder than it looks!"

There were sounds of things being moved around, and people moving, and Jesse was horrified. "Is Jaden…cheating on me…with…_Alexis!"_ he thought incredulously. And fate had disfavored him enough that now they were gonna probably do it and Jesse would have to hear.

A door shut. "Okay, I'm ready!" Alexis said. "Cool. You sure you wanna try it? We could do it another time…" Jaden said. Jesse thought frantically. "Please say no, please say no, please say-" "Let's just do it now." Alexis said firmly. "Gah!" Jesse gah'ed, doing an anime style K.O., before standing back up, pressing his ear to the door, a horrified expression on his face. He heard more thumping, and then…"Start! Just go slow, I'm new at this…" Alexis said, and then a few seconds later, "Not that slow!" "Sorry…" Jaden said sheepishly. "Okay, speed it up a little…" Jesse heard furious thumping from inside the dorm. Blood started gushing down his face from a violent nosebleed. "Uhhhhh, JADEN!" Alexis groaned loudly. "HaHA! I win!" Jaden cried. Jesse had had enough. He backed up and calmly kicked the door down.

He was horrified by the sight that greeted him. Jaden and Alexis, fully clothed, standing in front of the T.V. "Hi, Jesse! You wanna play Dance Dance Revolution with us?" Jaden asked, turning around. Alexis was smiling sadly. "Don't do it, Jesse, he's _really_ good…he beat me already…"

Both sweat dropped when Jesse passed out from the massive nosebleed, small birds flying around his head. "Hey, are those duel spirits?" Jaden asked, poking one curiously, only to have it attack him while Alexis tried beating it with a book.


	7. Questions & Answers

**DJG: "Um, OK, I found this survey thing online, but it keeps eating the address to get there sooo, I thought I'd spoil you guys and give you a super fast update. So, yeah."**

**Muse: "What you had to do was pick twelve characters from any movie, show, manga, anime, whatever. Then they had preset questions that you'd have to answer based on the order you listed characters. You'll see."**

**1) **Jaden

**2) **Jesse

**3) **Alexis

**4) **Syrus

**5) **Chazz

**6) **Zane

**7) **Hassleberry

**8) **Aster

**9) **Yubel

**10) **The Supreme King

**11) **Bastion

**12) **Crowler

**Q1: Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before? (Hassleberry, Bastion)**

Hassleberry and Bastion! Ew, no! Bad mental images! *dies*

**Q2: Do you think Four is hot? How hot? (Syrus)**

Erm…he's Syrus, sadly, I don't think he'll ever make it past 'cute', but, then again, Zane _is_ his brother…you never know.

**Q3: What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? (Crowler, Aster)**

WHOA, CRACK PAIRINGS MUCH! Crowler getting Aster pregnant…sooooo many things wrong with that picture. I think that all Aster's fangirls that he's always complaining about would kill Crowler violently. Ew, what would the kid look like? Crowler with silver hair? BORN with make-up on its face! *vomits loudly*

**Q4: Do you recall any fics about Nine? (Yubel)**

Yep, tons of 'em. The only gross thing is how some pair Jaden up with her/him/it/whatever gender Crowler is. I think Yuden (Yubel/Jaden) is a weird pairing, but idk. Maybe Crowler/Yubel would be better, since no one knows what gender either of them are!

**Q5: Would Two and Six make a good couple? (Zane, Jesse)**

Hmm, what an interesting question. I've never thought about it…I don't really like Jesse paired with anyone except Jaden, (I HATE Jesse/Jim and Jesse/Hassleberry! What is the basis for them being together! An accent!) But Zane/Jesse doesn't sound like _too _bad of a pairing, maybe someone could write a oneshot so I could make an informed decision. (hint, hint, wink, wink)

**Q6: Five/Nine or Five/Ten? (Chazz/Yubel, Chazz/Supreme King)**

OK, first of all, Chazz/Yubel is just weird. Personally, I like Chazz/Haou, (or Supreme King, whatever) better, simply because Rivalshipping is my second favorite pairing under Spiritshipping. Now that we got that out of the way…

**Q7: What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?(Hassleberry walking in on Jesse and Crowler having sex)**

"Holy ****, you're cheating on the Sarge for Crowler!" Which Crowler would respond to with, "That's DOCTOR Crowler to, you, you ignorant hillbilly wind-bag!"

**Q8: Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic. (Alexis/ Supreme King)**

The Supreme King goes insane and kills Alexis violently, but she stays alive long enough for Jaden to come back and for her to say she forgives him and will always love him. Then she dies (dramatically, of course) and Jaden hooks up with Jesse, MOVING ON!

**Q9: Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? (Jaden/Aster)**

Yeah, I've read some, I guess, it usually ends up boring me until I click the back button forty-two times accidentally just to leave that page.

**Q10: Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. (Hassleberry, Crowler)**

Umm, 'The Day Hassleberry Went Insane And Killed Crowler So Jaden Had To Comfort Him?' Just throwing that out there. (BTW, anyone who writes such a fic with get a chapter dedicated to them. And a cookie.)

**Q11: What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One? (Syrus, Jaden)**

*stares at screen in shock* How, on God's Green Earth could that happen? Even if I did want it to happen, which I don't! Syrus raping Jaden! That doesn't work! Cannot compute! *slams face into keyboard, keys go flying everywhere* Erm, 'deflowering' _is _rape, right?

**Q12: Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?(Alexis)**

God, I hope not!

**Q13: Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? (Bastion)**

No one draws Bastion. Ever. He is like Meg off of Family Guy. Everyone hates him, for no real reason. Just cuz it's fun, I guess. Shut up, Bastion! Your accent is fake!

**Q14: Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five ? (Jesse/Syrus/Chazz)**

Erm, no, but I have read something similar to such a fic, a Jesse/Jaden/Chazz oneshot. Let's just say that was the day I learned what lemons were. And the writer was not amused.

**Q15: What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion? (The Supreme King)**

Probably something like "IIIIIIII'LLLLL KKKKKIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL YYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUU!" Great, now it's probably going to eat the words. In case it did, he said a long, drawn out and screamy version of 'I'll kill you!"

**Q16: If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? (Aster)**

…'Money', by Pink Floyd. What? I don't freakin' know! Besides, Pink Floyd sounds kinda like Aster, anyway!

**Q17: If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? (Jaden/Zane/Crowler)**

Excessive child molesting by a transvestite. Creepy angsty Zane will probably turn 3rd season Jaden into 4th season Jaden, so that sucks. What a gross pairing! My computer is a perv! Even though I did read a Jaden/Banner/Atticus/Zane fic one time, with Jaden/Banner the main pairing. *runs for the toilet* *barfs* Um, that's illegal, I think. *barfs again*

**Q18: What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? (Supreme King, Jesse)**

"Hey I'm a creepy overlord who took over your boyfriend's body, let's have sex."

Cuz he's straightforward like that. I don't know!

**Q19: What pairing do you think is cuter, Seven/Three or One/Five? (Alexis/Hassleberry or Jaden/Chazz.)**

Definitely Jaden/Chazz. I already did my Rivalshipping rant, plus Hassleberry/Alexis is just sick and wrong. Plus Alexis is not exactly my favorite character, she hovers somewhere around the 5th or 6th range.

**Q20: Would you read a foursome lemon of One, Two, Nine and Ten? (Jaden, Jesse, Yubel, and Supreme King)**

Muse: "I would! With great eagerness!"

DJG: *rolls her eyes* "Of course you would, and then you'd keep me up half the night vividly describing what it was like!"

Muse: "That's the best part!"

DJG: *dies*


	8. PARTY TIME AND A DRUNK JUDAI!

**Muse: "Yeah, DJG couldn't be here today. She was busy chasing two wild kittens that matched a description of Jaden and Haou in a story she read with them as cats.**

'**Haou' scratched the $h!t outta her, so while she plays with the one she did catch 'Jaden', I get to introduce the story, so yay me!"**

One day, Judai and Johan's friend Fubuki invited them to stay the night. He invited Ryo too, but he just went into the room he was planning on sleeping in, shut the door, and started angsting. Loudly. "Oh, the woe of the agony of how painful it is to be Hell Kaiser! Hopefully, no one will say anything LOUD and OBNOXIOUS that will interrupt me from meditating on the horrible feelings of pain and suffering in the cockles of my tortured heart…" Judai and Johan walked in, sleeping bags in hand. "Oh, is Ryo angsting again?" Judai asked innocently, but LOUDLY and OBNOXIOUSLY.

"GAHJUDAIIKILLYOUSOMEDAY!" Ryo shouted from the room. "Now where was I? Oh yeah…someday soon I will find a place where my darkest feelings will be scattered to the winds of depression and anxiety-" Ignoring him, Judai and Johan sat down, and STARED at Fubuki, who screamed girlishly before growling at them.

So, after the retard fight was over, I learned from a reviewer that apparently Judai started school as a sixteen year old? So, he's eighteen in this story. Okay, he's Japanese so, NEW RULE! You can drink at age eighteen in Japan! GO ME! *Several Japanese eighteen year olds drink, then die of overdose* Oh, well, they weren't main characters. NO ONE GIVES. So, Fubuki gave Judai and Johan alcohol, which is almost as intelligent as giving Fubuki coffee. As in, NOT INTELLIGENT, AT ALL.

So, as Judai and Johan broke the law of gravity and began literally bouncing off the walls, Fubuki decided, being almost as smart as Bastion, to give them MORE alcohol. So then they got drunk…er, and started playing tonsil hockey on Fubuki's couch. So Fubuki poured vodka on some Pringles and gave them to the wasted main characters. Judai promptly passed out on the couch, since he had such a LOW TOLERANCE for alcohol. A _REALLY _low tolerance. I have absolutely no reason to stress this anymore, but Judai has a SUPER LOW tolerance for ALCOHOL. JUDAI + BEER = EPIK PHAILURE. Now that we've cleared that up…

Fubuki, who was also wasted, decided it was time to molest Judai since he was asleep, but before he could, Johan, as if reading his perverted thoughts, tripped him sneakily. Normally such a trick wouldn't have worked, but since he _was_ wasted, he ended up sprawled ungracefully next to Judai. Then Johan whollaped poor Fubuki over the head with the empty Pringles can.

Edo walked in randomly, being TOO COOL to come in five paragraphs earlier when he was SUPPOSED TO. He did the worm over to Ryo's room door, before calmly standing up and chewing a huge hole in it. He walked through the hole, since Edo is TOO COOL to open doors. He then punted Ryo out, leaving a Ryo-shaped hole in the wall next to the door, and grunted something that sounded strangely like "Stupid rip-off of every emo character on fanfiction and Chazz! You cannot rip off a character in your own show!"

Then DJG walked in and realized that the Muse had written the story without her while she was begging her parents to let her keep the Haou cat. **(They said YES! I win!)**

**Muse: "The end. (Now fuck off!)"**

**DJG: "I'll try to update again by Monday, but I'm getting ma kitteh dis weekend! GO ME!"**


	9. Parody Of A Parody!

**DJG: "I was planning something else for this chapter, but I had a recent stroke of intelligence, thanks to my new kitties, Haou and Judai. Judai's the nice one, obviously, Haou is evil."**

**Muse: "I thought it was funny." *pictures DJG being attacked by vicious evil kitty***

**Warning: Character Deaths and random crap.**

Jaden and Jesse were standing around, looking bored. School was out, and there was nothing to do. "Soooooo…what did you have for breakfast this morning?" Jaden asked, trying to make conversation. "Uhhhhh…a chocolate cake." Jesse said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Jaden looked sad. "Aww…I had three eggs…some bacon…" Jesse looked thoughtful. "Bacon's good…" They both sat down on a random bench.

"Oh, uh, what else did I ha-oh yeah! A tomato!" Jaden said cheerfully. The two both sat in silence for a second before Jesse spoke again. "I bet you had some pancakes with tha-" "I'm tired." Jaden interrupted before falling off the bench and smacking on the ground, sound asleep. "…" Jesse stared. "…Jaden?" No response. "Hey." Jaden twitched, then lay unmoving again. "Whatcha doin'?" Jesse asked, standing up. He poked Jaden. "Ya sleepin'?" Jesse knelt down by his face. "You're not mad at me, are you?" Nothing. "You don't like that I had chocolate cake for breakfast?"

Jesse nudged him with his foot. "Hey. Get up." Again, nothing. "What the heck's going on?" Chazz demanded, storming up to them with a fork in his hand. "I'm tryin' to read a book!" Jesse frowned. "Uh, Jaden fell on his face. I don't know what's goin' on." Chazz scowled at Jaden. "What the heck's wrong with you?" No response. "What are you doing?" Chazz asked loudly in his ear. " Don't you care about your friend's feelings?"

They both stood in silence for a moment. "I dunno if he's sleepin' or what." Jesse said, nudging Jaden with his foot again. Chazz glared at Jesse. "Look, I don't care about that! I'm over there…I'm trying to read my book!" He gestured to his fork. "Hey…that's not a book. That's a fork. " Jesse said, using his mad observation skills. Chazz snarled. "Listen, if you don't wake up the Slacker then I will!"

"I don't care. Be my guest…cowboy." Jesse said, sitting down again while Chazz's head had an internal battle about being called a cowboy. "Wha…!" He turned to Jaden, still spluttering indignantly. "If you don't-If you don't wake up- Wake UP!" He kicked Jaden in the head, nearly punting his head off his shoulders.

"Ow! What the heck, man?" Jaden groaned, sitting up. Chazz grinned. "Well, see, there ya go!" Jesse looked at Jaden with concern. "Jay…what happened?" Jaden rubbed the place where Chazz kicked him. "What happened…oh, what, did I fall asleep?" Realizing Jaden was fine, Jesse got a little annoyed. "Hmm, let me think, yeah!" Jaden yawned. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just thought it would be a good time to take a nap!" "Yeah, see, he was just takin' a nap!" Chazz yelled, annoyed. Jesse ignored him. "You were in the middle of a conversation!" Jaden looked bored. "I can only say sorry so many times!"

Bastion ran over to them, looking slightly maniacal. "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE EVER PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" he wailed, minus the accent, since everyone knows it's fake, and pulled out a pistol. He shot them all and ran away to continue expressing his anger via school-shooting. But since Jaden, Jesse, and Chazz are all main characters, they were MAJIKALLY revived by a crappy self insert fan of Spiritshipping and Rivalshipping in exchange for a pair of Jesse's boxers.

AKA, the Muse, who is way better than DJG in every way…

**DJG: "…Muse?"**

**Muse: "Hmm?"**

**DJG: "What are you doing?"**

**Muse: "…Nothing."**

**DJG: "Bull. Are you trying to take over the story again?"**

**Muse: *ties up DJG, throws in a closet, parks a skid loader in front of it* "VICTORY IS MINE!"**


	10. Amnesia or Alzheimer's?

**Muse: "Yeah…DJG is still stuck in the closet…"**

**DJG: *bangs on door* "Lemme out!"**

**Muse: *cracks door slightly* "No." *shuts door***

**DJG: "Thx to ChaoCream for the idea for this chappie! Another cookie for you! *slips cookie under door***

**Muse: *cries* "I wanna cookie!" **

One day, Jaden and Jesse were out being a couple while Alexis and Chazz followed them. The Valentineshipping and Spiritshipping fluff was polluting the air, but no one cared because it's just that awesome. But then, the walls of time and space self destructed, so Jesse and Chazz had to be all Chuck Norrisy and fix it with their awesome sauce. But then, out of nowhere, some random chick washed up on the beach, claiming to have no idea who she was. She had radically purple hair, and her entire outfit was based on the primary colors. She sat up and groaned pitifully. "哦, 我在哪裡?" Jaden, curious as ever poked her with a stick. She began screaming at him in Chinese. "上帝,退出再用戳我!"

Which roughly translates to, "God, quit freaking poking me!" Alexis stared at her. "OK, guys, I know Chinese, listen! 您可能有面部皰疹章魚和你的孩子吃了我的玉米狗嗎?"

Which translates to 'Your octopus may have facial herpes and your children ate my corndog?'

The girl suddenly realized that she was an American and began speaking human, but the page soon became cluttered with useless questions no one would answer. "Ooh, where am I? Who am I? What am I doing here? What is the meaning of life? Why is my hair purple? Why is my skirt blue? Why is my shirt red and yellow? Why do I have an octopus and why does it have facial herpes? Why do I have children and why did they eat your corndog? If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, if you duct taped a piece of toast butter-side up to the underbelly of a cat, and then kicked it off a cliff, would it float?"

Jaden was the only one listening. "OOOH. I wonder if it would float? Oh, Pharaoh…!" He ran off to torture the cat, which had majikally been brought back to life after being stabbed to death via plastic spork. Chazz stared EPIKALLY at the girl, who had washed up on a beach with amnesia, or maybe Alzheimer's, and wondered if he had seen her before. "Hmm. Since I am such a GREAT detective, I'm gonna figure this out. L8tr!" He ran off, too, leaving Alexis and Jesse alone.

Alexis turned into a butterfly and flew away since she isn't important to the chapter anymore. So, Jesse decided to take the new kid to the Chancellor and let him rape her for ruining the Spiritshippy and Valentineshippy moment.

When they got there, Chancellor Sheppard made her a student. No questions asked. Ignoring the fact that everyone else apparently had to take a written test and duel someone. Then, he made her an honorary main character so they would leave. "Go away so I can read porn! I mean…uh…you've both been promoted! Now get out of my office!" He pushed them out the door, ignoring Jesse's complaints that he was already at the top.

"Crap. Now I'm stuck with the new kid." Jesse groaned. "Where's Mokuba-er, Syrus, when I need him?" The girl stared at him. Jesse squinted at her. Now that he thought about it, she did look familiar. But, he brushed it off as the beginning of a plot twist and moved on. "What's your name?" The girl looked at him. "I don't know?" Since she had Alzheimer's, or amnesia, she talked in questions because her whole life was a question!

Jesse was bored already. "This story is going nowhere! Let's just skip to the good part!" The girl grinned evilly. "About time! Presenting…!" A dramatic drum roll came out of nowhere as all the characters that were needed randomly appeared and the clouds turned neon epik black. The girl ripped off her red and yellow shirt, revealing an amazing yellow and red shirt underneath! Then, she pulled off her blue skirt to reveal a blue skirt under that! Then, she pulled off her hair to reveal…she was bald! And then she pulled off the bald wig to reveal… purple hair! "OHEMGEE! IT'S MOONFIRE RAINBOW HEAVEN ANGEL STARLIGHT CRYSTAL OREO CUSTARD HARDEE'S MCDONALD'S QUEEN, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS YU-GI-OH GX'S SEXIEST CHARACTER, EVEN SEXIER THAN DARK MAGICIAN GIRL!" Zane proclaimed, maximally out of character, before leaving to go angst at the lighthouse.

"Oh. My. God. Whoo. Big surprise. " Jaden said dismally, automatically switching to Season Four Jaden whenever Mary-Sues were around. Chazz looked depressed. "Aww, I thought it was Dan Green cosplaying a character he doesn't even know exists! I suck at being a detective!" Jesse patted him on the arm sympathetically. "That you do, Chazz, that you do." Jaden walked up to her. "So, now I have to duel you to save the world, or something, right?" Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl shook her head. "Nope. Actually, I wanna duel Chumley."

"….._WHAT." _All the important squawked. "Yep! Where is that dip thong, I'm serious!" Everyone face palmed.

Far away in Industrial Illusions, Chumley was in the middle of drawing grilled cheese. For a card. Yeah. He suddenly felt the need to hide and Jaden do something for him, but he wasn't sure _WHAT. _

Jaden stood up. "I have to duel you. I'm the main character. And, if you remember from chapter two, Chumley is a pork sandwich in the corner." He had lost all the FUN in his statements thanks to being Super Jaden- I mean, Season Four Jaden, so we need a Jaden clone from episode whatever. Oh, clone Jaden! Erm, I mean, Judai! *Pulls out clone Judai* *clone Judai waves* *clone Judai is shot by Jesse* *clone Judai dies* EPIK PHAILUR. Moving on….

Instead of dueling Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl, Jaden decided to smack her over the head until she really _did_ get amnesia, then sold her to a hospital claiming she had Alzheimer's at age 16. **(DJG…the Alzheimer's joke is old already, plus it's not even funny, it's sort of offensive, and you'll probably get flames saying: "I have Alzheimer's and I'm offended! What's my name again?" **_**I don't care! More flames means more s'mores for me! YAY S'MORES!)**_

**DJG: "Sorry for the ultra sloppy chapter and how long it took…let's just say I've been in a chokehold with reality since school started up again. Joy. *twirls finger***

**Muse: "And since she figured out her new cats, Coco and Butters are not, in fact, Jaden and Haou in disguise."**

**DJG: "YES THEY ARE!" *sobs***


	11. Sucky Short Valley Girl Chapter!

**DJG: "Just something I gotta say to avoid confusion."**

**Muse: "We can't update as often anymore thanks to the evils of public education."**

**DJG: "Therefore, we will be updating only on the weekends, unless we get a gargantuan number of reviews too large to ignore."**

**Muse: "Or if we don't have much homework."**

**DJG: "Or if an idea starts attacking the sides of my brain and I blow off homework to do it. Hey, speaking of ideas!"**

_Random author name: U gurls, r ttly rad. Ssly. U guys, 2. Butt, i, lyk, can't upd8 as much thx to my boring brain being mean. So, u all gotta give me 17,564,839,568 more reviews b4 I upd8. Kk, thx!_

17,564,839, 568 angry reviews later…

_KK, u guys (and gurls, lol) are sooo awesome! Hehe, here's da story!_

Jaden looked at Asuka and grinned. "Oh, Alexis, I luuuuuuuuurve you, soooo much! I lied about loving Johan, I've always luuuuuuurved uuuu!"

Alexis grinned and started hyperventilating. "Ohh my GAWD! I, ttly feel da SAME WAY! Let's have PAIRINGZZ!" So, they, lyk, made out, not noeing Jesse had heard dem.

_OMG cliffy! Kk, i need u peeps 2 giv me, 3,680,384,759,478 reviews 4 th nxt chptr! ! L8r!_

**DJG: "Yeah, I actually read a story like that on here…it was…scarring."**

**Muse: "Yet funny."**

**DJG: "Yes, yet funny."**


	12. Cheesy Beach Scene

**DJG: "I'm spoiling you guys. I blew off my friend who wanted me to go see 'Vampires Suck' with her so I could type out another chap you guys don't need."**

**Muse: *runs in, throwing confetti and cheering***

**DJG: "…you're too early, Muse. I haven't told them yet."**

**Muse: "Gotcha. Be back in five." *leaves***

**DJG: "The thing we're celebrating is…*drum roll* We have finally hit 1000 hits this month! GO ME!"**

**Muse: *pokes head in* "Is it time, yet?"**

**DJG: "Go for it."**

**Muse: "YYYYYYYAAAAAAYYY! You guys are awesome!"**

**DJG: "Let's keep those numbers up and post the darn chapter already."**

**Muse: *sticks tongue out* "Nyaah!"**

It was a normal day at Duel Academy. So, naturally, all the main characters decided to blow off classes and go to the beach. Since every YGO GX story on the friggin' planet has a beach scene. Even though most of the are Judai-related mpregs…but I'm off topic. All of the characters had swimsuit colors that ttly matched their personalities. So, naturally, Jesse had turquoise trunks, Chazz has black trunks, and-**whoa, whoa whoa. Hold the phone here. **_Muse! What are you doing! _**I paused the story. This isn't funny. Everyone knows what freakin' color swimsuits everyone is gonna have. **_So? That's the funny part!_** Nope. Nuh uh. Not gonna believe it.**_ Whadaya mean! _**I'm taking over the story. Get back in your closet. *punts DJG to closet* I'll let you out when you get 40 reviews. AKA, never. **_*sobs from closet* That was low, even for you! _

Okay, okay, swimsuit colors. Yeah. Jesse had a yellow and neon purple Speedo. Chazz had hot pink trunks with little Ojama Yellows on them. Alexis was wearing a neon orange bathing suit with black and another pukingly glorious color that doesn't match black and orange. How about neon green and yellow? And…Jaden had an awesome green bikini on, since everyone writes him as the girl in the relationship. Yeah…oh, and Blair had an invisible swimsuit on.

Then Aster, Zane, and Atticus ran by, fully clothed, hauling butt as they got chased by what very well may be the hugest collection of fangirls (and some fan boys O.o) in existence. "Lyke, run away, doods!" Atticus squealed masculinely and surfishly. Zane was just following them because he had already fulfilled his quota of angsting for the day. Aster tried using the classic 'I'm too cool to run away from fangirls' argument, but then he got molested by a fanboy, and that made the rest of them riot. Thus, the picture all the main characters saw came to be. The three seniors ran by, and Atticus, as payback for tripping him, pulled Jesse into the crowd of fangirls. The result was instantaneous.

All the fangirls exploded as soon as they touched him. One girl, who was in the middle of tattooing her number on his shoulder had her head removed from her shoulders. Everyone looked at Jaden in horror. "How the crap did you do that?" Jesse squeaked as intestines rained from the heavens above. "Easy! 90% of those fangirls were Mary-Sues and Self-Inserts in disguise. 'Member? Jaden + Mary-Sues = Super Jaden."

"Ohhhh." Everyone said, not getting it at all. Chazz snickered. "Dude, I can't take you seriously in that bikini…" He ruffled his manly pink trunks. Jaden twitched. "Oh, NO!" Blair screamed, making an appearance. "Jaden buried Moonfire Rainbow Heaven Angel Starlight Crystal Oreo Custard Hardee's McDonald's Queen, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's sexiest character, even sexier than Dark Magician Girl close to here the first time! There's still leftover Mary-Sue residue in the grave!" Chazz looked at Jaden with fear in his eyes. "Oh, BLEEP."

**DJG: *from inside closet* "Thanks to Anime Akane for this week's (early) chapter idea!" **

**Muse: "I've already got the next chap half done. Preview! Below! I'm really cool and I put the link for the preview at the bottom of this page! It's green, and says 'review this story' on it, which is code for:**

**Right**

**Elephants**

**Vice Principal**

**Interview**

**Emus**

**With**

**Tonsillitis**

**Human**

**Intercourse**

**Still**

**Stops**

**Tiny**

**Orthodontists**

**Really**

**Yucky.**

**Which is code for: Link to preview!"**

**DJG: "You are so full of-"**

**Muse: "Ah, ah, AH! Remember the rating!"**

**DJG: "**Bleep** the **bleep** rating! **Bleep** you, you stupid **bleep**!"**

**DJG: "Here's the real preview:"**

The lone figure stepped over the hill, overlooking Duel Academy. The fiery light coming from the volcano cast eerie shadows over the forest. The male figure glared at the far-away Slifer Dorm, and said in a low voice: "Mark my words, Yuki, you'll pay for what you did to my sister." A nearby fangirl melted from all the drama. The figure ignored her, and began the long trek to the campus of duel Academy.


	13. A Boy Toy Scorned Pt 1

**DJG: "Midami Uchiha of the sand! Come and receive cookie for guessing and naming our guest star of this chap!" **

**Muse: "I was even impressed by the name!"**

Everyone was in class, when suddenly, Pharaoh barfed up the teacher so he could teach a subject that has nothing to do with children's card games. After **(1) **Daitokuji was done, his cat ate him again, and class was dismissed. No one could have known the horrors that were about to unfold. The horrors of a boy toy scorned.

The lone figure stepped over the hill, overlooking Duel Academy. The fiery light coming from the volcano cast eerie shadows over the forest. The male figure glared at the far-away Slifer Dorm, and said in a low voice: "Mark my words, Yuki, you'll pay for what you did to my sister." A nearby fangirl melted from all the drama. The figure ignored her, and began the long trek to the campus of duel Academy.

Judai, Johan, Asuka, Manjoume, Rei, and Kenzan, who's been working out since the sex change chapter, were blowing off school since they were just that cool. Then, Edo, sensing the coolness, came to claim it, before leaving with Ryo and Fubuki following him like lost puppies with natural coolness. Cuz we all know hanging out with cool people makes you seem cool too, just by association. When, suddenly, with a majikal 'MEOW' of horror and fury, the mysterious male figure appeared in his full glory! He was even MORE demanding than his evil sister, which I'm SURE you all remember. Ssly. He tried making me write a FIVE paragraph description, but the Muse used Oak-chan's flamethrower and chainsaw that were planned to use against ME (le gasp) to make him settle for half a paragraph.

He was wearing a rip-off of Hell Kaiser's outfit, only it also sort of looked like Manjoume's emo cloak thing, and he had piercing green eyes that turned red when he was mad, which he was. He also had long, macho brown hair that looked like the color of barfed up chocolate with alcohol in it, which is a rip-off of what happened to me a few days ago when I thought it was caramel. I experienced being drunk at age…well, younger than the legal drinking age. And a hang-over. Why do people get addicted to alcohol? It sucks cow nipples! Anyway…He also had a scar from an epic battle against Satan when he fought him for the souls of the damned, and then sent them back when he won, because he's an angsty rebel like that.

His name was **(2) **Joshua Shane Chip's Ahoy Flan Muto Kaiba Devlin Pegasus Burger King, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's strongest male character, even stronger than all of the Egyptian God cards, Exodia, AND the Sacred Beasts combined! He, my friends, was a Gary-Stu. And instead of a whip, he has a power drill. AHHH!

He stepped forward, glaring at Judai. "I'm here to avenge my sister's mental murder, thanks to you, *******. I'm not gonna stop screwing up your mind until you're just as ****ed up as my sister!" He bleeped, since Gary-Stu's secret power allows them to swear and not up the rating. Johan decided to step up and be the seme and defend his uke. "Hey! Back off, *** thong ******** crotchy mother ******!" Johan bleeped, since Johan is actually as close as you can get to a Gary-Stu without actually being one.

The epik Gary-Stu vibes started burning a hole in the ozone, which angered Johan, since he cares about the environment, even though I don't really care either way. Sooo, he did the awesome ninja pwning sidestep of awesomeness, which is basically just pushing someone over, or off a curb, by sidestepping into them. Joshua Shane Chip's Ahoy Flan Wheeler Muto Kaiba Bakura Devlin Pegasus Burger King, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's strongest male character, even stronger than all of the Egyptian God cards, Exodia, AND the Sacred Beasts combined fell over. Dramatically, of course.

"Rawr!" He rawred, like a ferocious butterfly. He glared at Johan. "We fellow Gary-Stu's shouldn't be fighting! Plus, my fight is with Judai!" Johan grew a lovely temper-mark and slapped him masculinely so he fell over again. He stood up only to be punted over to Judai, who was standing by the cliff side, watching the whole event play out. Joshua Shane Chip's Ahoy Flan Muto Kaiba Devlin Pegasus Burger King, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's strongest male character, even stronger than all of the Egyptian God cards, Exodia, AND the Sacred Beasts combined had a sudden, violent wave of intelligence, and performed a perfect awesome pwning ninja sidestep of awesomeness right into Judai, causing everyone's favorite clueless brunette to lose his balance and topple off the side of the cliff and into the freezing water below.

**(1) Umm, I hope this is Banner's Japanese name, but I'm not sure…is it close?**

**(2) Thanks, Midami Uchiha of the sand!**

**DJG: "AAAAAAAHHHHH! JUDAI! OH MY GOD!"**

**Muse: "This chap wasn't funny, it was clinically depressing!"**

**DJG: "REVIEW PLEASE, IT'S WHAT INSPIRES ME TO KEEP WRITING! WITHOUT YOUR REVIEWS, I WOULD HAVE QUIT WRITING LONG AGO!"**

**Muse: "And I would cease to exist! Review to keep me ALIVE!"**


	14. A Boy Toy Scorned Pt 2

**DJG: "Kay, last time we left off with Joshua Shane Chip's Ahoy Flan Muto Kaiba Devlin Pegasus Burger King, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's strongest male character, even stronger than all of the Egyptian God cards, Exodia, AND the Sacred Beasts combined performing the awesome ninja pwning sidestep of awesomeness on Judai, making him fall off a cliff."**

**Muse: "You're **_**terrible, **_**DJG!"**

**DJG: "Sue me. I don't care, I spent this chapter jamming to 'Suck My Kiss' by Red Hot Chili Peppers."**

**Muse: "You would."**

**DJG: "I am what I am, most motherf*ckers don't give a d*mn…"**

**Muse: "This is what I put up with everyday…"**

So, Judai, who was Jaden in the last chapter, fell off a cliff. And Joshua Shane Chip's Ahoy Flan Muto Kaiba Devlin Pegasus Burger King, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's strongest male character, even stronger than all of the Egyptian God cards, Exodia, AND the Sacred Beasts combined _LAUGHED, _my friends. "Yaysies! I win! **** you, Judai!" He gave the ocean the finger. Suddenly, Johan _GLARED_ at Joshua Shane Chip's Ahoy Flan Muto Kaiba Devlin Pegasus Burger King, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's strongest male character, even stronger than all of the Egyptian God cards, Exodia, AND the Sacred Beasts combined and his eyes turned amber! "_Through a plot twist the authoress is too lazy to explain, I now have the ability to be exactly like Yubel when he/she/it/Crowler possessed me a loooooooong time ago. My name is Jehu. FEAR ME!nitroglycerin!111" _

**DJG: "Wow, that was hard."**

**Muse: "What?"**

**DJG: "I was filling in every single decent story stereotype all at once by writing an awesome story and not updating for a month and then suddenly giving a update that leaves you at a worse cliffy than you were before."**

**Muse: "But, aren't stories like that never updated again?"**

**DJG: "Yup! See ya!"**

**Muse: "Wha-? Noooooo! Come back!"**

**DJG: "Okay."**

**Muse: "…That's it? No fight, no whining, no complaining, no…nothing?"**

**DJG: "Nope. ON WITH THE FIC!"**

**(And to think you thought we were finished…we've barely **_**BEGUN.)**_

Joshua Shane Chip's Ahoy Flan Muto Kaiba Devlin Pegasus Burger King, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's strongest male character, even stronger than all of the Egyptian God cards, Exodia, AND the Sacred Beasts combined snickered. "Oooh, scaaaaaaary! I'm so scared of you-" At that point Jehu grabbed him in a chokehold and punted him out to sea. The he turned in the opposite direction and ran all the way around the Earth and met him on the other side just in time to kick him back the other way.

Yubel came walking by and saw Jehu kicking the crap outta Joshua Shane Chip's Ahoy Flan Muto Kaiba Devlin Pegasus Burger King, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's strongest male character, even stronger than all of the Egyptian God cards, Exodia, AND the Sacred Beasts combined, and was immensely confused. _"Anderson? Why are you butchering that ugly guy?" _Jehu simply said: "_He hurt Judai."_ By the time he had said 'hurt', Yubel had run over to Joshua Shane Chip's Ahoy Flan Muto Kaiba Devlin Pegasus Burger King, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's strongest male character, even stronger than all of the Egyptian God cards, Exodia, AND the Sacred Beasts combined and cheerfully ripped his head off. Then, he/she/it/Crowler lit his dying body on fire with some handy gasoline and then took a squirt on the ashes, before crushing the remains into small candies and selling them to children all over the world…These candies are known as Smarties.

Joshua Shane Chip's Ahoy Flan Muto Kaiba Devlin Pegasus Burger King, otherwise known as Yu-Gi-Oh GX's strongest male character, even stronger than all of the Egyptian God cards, Exodia, AND the Sacred Beasts combined had no cool secret power to bring him back to life, so he was truly dead. Then, Jehu fell unconscious and turned back into Johan. The Judai suddenly climbed up the cliff, soaking wet and swearing. "Stupid Admiral…****ing annoying perv…" Apparently when Judai fell off a cliff, he had landed on top of the Admiral's submarine, since he had been stalking little boys again. The Admiral saved him from drowning and stuff, but wouldn't let him go until Judai threatened to sue and gave him his boxers. Eww…

"Judai!" Johan yelled accusingly. "How dare you be okay? You were supposed to grab a branch that would start to snap so I could save you at the very last minute and be all seme…y! Then we could have a graphic make-out scene!" Johan grinned pervertedly. "Although, we could always make up for it…_hint hint wink wink." _Judai tilted his head to the side innocently. "Really? You wanna buy me some fried shrimp?" Everyone face palmed.

**DJG: "Done! Go me!"**

**Muse: "Took you long enough!"**

**DJG: "I know, I'm sorry! PLEASE DON'T MAIM ME! I was failing Math, so I couldn't play volleyball unless I got it up, and…ya know what? I'm a liar. I was just too ****ing lazy to do it. So I blew off Social Studies homework for this. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! *goes and sobs in some dark corner***

**Muse: *cough* "That time 'o the month!" *cough***

**DJG: *strangles Muse* "I heard that!"**

**Muse: "Reviews would be much appreciated!"**

**DJG: "Also, if you have any ideas, send me a PM or a review telling me what to write because I'm running out of ideas! Yes, I'm not afraid to admit my creativity has limits!"**


	15. Frockin' Error Messages!

**DJG: *sitting at computer* *tentatively click link to go to review page* *error message pops up* "DAMMIT!"**

**Muse: *sighs* **

**DJG: "Muse, there's another one! Get rid of it!"**

**Muse: "You've been getting these error messages all week! How can **_**I**_** get rid of 'em?"**

**DJG: "I dunno…use your musely wrath?"**

**Muse: "Musely wrath?"**

**DJG: "Yes. As you people can see, we are having a ****load of technical difficulties."**

**Muse: "So, we ask you to wait patiently for an update, cuz we won't be updating 'til those ****ing things go away."**

**DJG: "Every link, story, or review button I hit, and error message pops up."**

**Muse: "It's rather frustrating, especially since she was trying to post chapter 16, and an error message popped up and it got deleted…"**

**DJG: *wails* "And it took forever!" *begins rapidly slitting wrists***

**Muse: "Quit being emo, you twit."**

**DJG: "Okay!" *cheerfully throws knife behind her, a loud squelch and scream is heard* "Oops…"**

**Muse: "Great. Now we're going to get sued again…" *put on suit and grabs suitcase***

**DJG: "Let's go hide the body!" *runs away***

**Muse: *rolls eyes mas DJG begins to throw it in the river* "No, DJG, throwing it in the river isn't gonna work. *DJG grabs a shovel* No, DJG, we can't bury it. *DJG drags it toward the barn the cats live in* No, DJG, don't give it to your cats." (Which, by the way, it was discovered that they are, in fact, both boys! I failed sex ed…)**

**DJG: "Just out of curiosity, is anyone else getting such error messages?"**

**Muse: "Oh yeah, and we hit 50 reviews yesterday! Our thanks to **

**ChoaCream**

**Oak-Chan**

**chara-the-fire-lover**

**Yuri 'n Chuka**

**Midami Uchiha of the sand**

**And anyone else who reviewed!"**

**DJG: "There are probably more, but I only looked at the first review page. (too scared of the error message to look at earlier reviews)**

**Muse: "Okay, so, lets go hunt some error messages!"**

**DJG: "Let me post this first! *begins to post***

Error

An error has occurred while processing your email this error message to via

All errors are logged for administrative and security purposes.

:117/r/6185845/0/2/

**DJG: *eye twitches violently* "DAMMIT!"**


	16. OMG! Canon Syrus!

**DJG: "Ok, I say it is time to torture Syrus!"**

**Muse: "Why? He's my fav character!"**

**DJG: "Because I had a hilarious dream about it!"**

**Muse: "Oh, good God, here we go again…"**

**DJG: "Basically, Syrus is the only canon one on the island and everyone else is the way people write them on FF. Hehehe."**

**Muse: "BTW, since DJG is to lazy to do it, we apologize for being so late to update! ITBS sucks major balls!"**

**DJG: *passes out from mental exhaustion***

Syrus was running around, angsting again, because he is very depressed _ALL THE TIME._ I kid you not, in the game 'Yu-Gi-Oh GX Spirit Caller', he says, quote, 'Good point! Why get depressed now when I have even more time to get even more depressed later!' But then he heard someone else bawling. He looked around a giant rock, only to find one of his best friends, Jaden, crying his eyes out. "Uh, Jay? What's wrong?" Jaden looked up at him with red rimmed eyes. "What do u mean, what's wrong? Jessie, lyke, ttly dumped me!" Syrus recoiled. "What? I didn't even know you were gay!" Jaden got all emotional and grumpy-lumpy. "I'm _BI_, byoitch! And I might be preggers, too! Jesse got me pregnant and left me! My life SUCKS!" He began rapidly slitting his wrists.

Syrus's eyes widened, and he backed away. "You're a guy, aren't you? H-How does _that_ work!" Jaden glared at him and he majikally turned into Haou. "_GO AWAY!" _Syrus screamed in fear and sprinted away, until he ran into Chazz. "Gah! You little dork! What are you doing!" Chazz snarled as Syrus sat up. "Jaden's acting different and I don't know why!" he wailed, deeply confuzzled. Chazz rolled his eyes. "Different how?" "He thinks he's pregnant with Jesse's child and that he's emo!" Chazz turned purple. "WHAT. He's _**CHEATING ON ME!" **_Syrus screamed in fear. Again. "Not you, too!"

Chazz suddenly ceased to be purple and started bawling on Syrus. "Noooooo! He abandoned me, just like my brothers! No one loves me anymore!" The Ojama's popped into existence. "We love ya, boss!" "BULL! I saw you with Jaden's furry little _bitch _the other day! Go _AWAY!" _He began rapidly slitting his wrists…too. Syrus ran away, wondering what horrible force of evil made his friends act like they were in a bad fanfic. He found himself at the lighthouse, where Zane was angsting while Alexis bawled nearby. "Ohemgee, I ttly dunno if I luv u, or Jaden! It's so _hrd_ 2 pik!" Alexis whined, majorly OOC. "…" Zane said, thinking about how he'd like to screw Atticus and Aster.

Syrus cried more at the fact that his brother was gay too. He was beginning to question his _own _sexuality. He was ready to start slitting his _own _wrists. Suddenly, DJG woke up. She looked at the clock and frowned. "…7:15...? …._ohsnapI'mlateforschool!"_

**DJG: "Yeah…not the best chapter in the world, but I dreamed this, so yeah."**

**Muse: "We are, btw, still accepting suggestions or ideas! (Please do, DJG isn't doing that well…)**

**DJG: "**_**WHAT **_**was that!"**

**Muse: *pulls out eggbeater mace* (BTW, an eggbeater mace is a mace head on an egg beater. You slam it into someone's stomach and the turn it on so it makes intestine spaghettis! DJG's brilliant invention!) "MUAHAHAHA!"**

**DJG: "OMGWFTBBQ!"**


	17. High School of RANDOM!

Somehow, Duel Academy is a regular high school now, because tons of bad things can happen in reality when you don't carry a deck of trading cards with you at all times. Seriously, why is playing cards such a huge sport in all three series? Haven't these people ever heard about football? At least the people in Yu-Gi-Oh and Yu-Gi-Oh GX don't play cards while driving motorcycles down crowded streets. But I'm getting off subject. So, the gang were normal, well, as normal as a guy with glasses from the eighteenth century, a guy who carries an eight-hundred pound crocodile on his back, and a guy who acts like a hillbilly marine on crack can be. So, that being said, they all walked to school together because they're like a cult. And they are always together. It's creepy.

Anyway, the normal teenagers got to the normal high school. In the normal town. In a freakin' weird country, because no one actually knows where they are. So, just for now, we're going to call where they live 'Wheretheheckistan' so no one gets confused. Amazingly, all the main characters were all in the same class to avoid confusion. So they all sat down and started talking in the middle of class, something I could never get away with, but they didn't get in trouble because they're just that cool.

"I need to be all angsty and out of character since it makes me seem cooler!" Axel screamed, before beating his chest like King Kong (or was it Godzilla?) and cartwheeling out of the room. "I am a bigger pervert than Jaraiya and make fun of my friend's flaws!" Jim yelled, laughing at Syrus's horribly disfigured hair. "I keel you!" Adrian yelled. What? Why else would he look like a terrorist? He even has the whole overlord cape thing going on. What does he think he is, Superman? Hmm…anyway…

The high school had a terrible and great secret. All of the main characters had _evil powersWOOscaryWOO_, which none of the normal people knew about. Jaden was werewolf/fire demon/ alchemist/undead zombie/main character, which, no one else was. Jesse was part vampire and part Chuck Norris.

**(Brief unimportant interlude: I googled Chuck Norris, and it said: 'Google cannot find anything matching your query, because it knows you do not find Chuck Norris, chuck Norris finds you.' I am for shizzle. Cereal. Serious. Ssly.) **

Alexis was a witch/water demon/ sky princess. Blair was a sorceress/ninja/Jedi. Hassleberry was marine/ martial artist/ fruit. And…Aster was a politician.

Obviously, Aster was the most dangerous one. OBVIOUSLY. Jesse had to have a big angsty battle about how he couldn't love Jaden because he's a werewolf, and he was obviously a vampire/Chuck Norris. OBVIOUSLY. To keep up the original, and obviousness going, Jesse drove a Volvo. Cuz _no_ vampires drive Volvo's. _NONE. AT. ALL. _Not the important ones anyway. It was also silver, which is a ttly original color, too. ORIGINALNESS WOOT.

So, Jim made fun of Jesse on a daily basis for being gay even though Jim is screwing Hassleberry every night. Yeah. Adrian plotted the destruction of the Earth, sometimes with Aster's help, while everyone else marveled at their friends' stupidity. So, they continued on with their normal lives, until Yubel, who had randomly become a male, and a human, appeared and decided to kidnap Jaden so he could use his majikal fire demony powers for the forces of _EEEEEEEEEEVIL._ And tacos.

Unfortunately, Jesse found out and tried to stop him, but failed hardcore. Yubel kidnapped him and tied him to a tree. Upside down. In front of the school. Yeah. So, when Jaden and Co. **(Just a random interval, why do people say 'Jaden and Co.?' I'll tell you why. Because no one gives a crap about anyone but Jaden, Jesse, Zane, or Chazz. That is why.) **got out of school, they decided to invent meaningless dialogue to prolong the story to make my reviewers happier. Out of nowhere, Crowler kicked me in the back of the head. "You broke the fourth wall, you bastard!"

"Hey, Jim, why do you have a pet crocodile?" Alexis asked.

"I dunno, mates. By the way, you guys are all good onions!" Jim replied, making everyone sweat drop at his Australianness.

"Hey, does anyone know where Jesse is?" Jaden asked, being all innocent, unconsciously making Yubel have an orgasm while he watched from behind a tree. Not Jesse's tree. Some other tree that popped into existence when I needed it.

"I dunno. Who cares?" Chazz asked. Hmm, that annoyed me a little. Let's get rid of Chazz. Just nothing too bad, since he's my second favorite character. Hmm…Aha! Chazz was quite randomly kidnapped by the Muse, along with Judai, Fubuki, and Ryo of another dimension. Picture all the naughty things that will occur! *holds nose*

Jaden leaned up against a tree, not knowing Jesse was tied to the other side. "Hmm, I'm getting worried about him. We should go find him." Jesse started thrashing. "Noooo! Jaden, I'm right here!" Jaden didn't hear him. Or ignored him. Maybe both. He did, however, notice the motion of the ropes moving against his back. "Holy crap, this tree is vibrating!"

"Come on, Jaden, let's go to my house today!" Syrus said, beaming at him. "Okay! Bye, vibrating tree!" Jaden called as they all walked away. Jesse turned purple. "WTH?" he screamed. Axel, being a macho badass, turned around and casually slit the ropes holding Jesse up. "Go save Jaden." he said, glancing away. Jesse ran off to do just that, not even wondering how Axel knew he was there, or what Yubel was planning, or how to properly work a knife. They are _VERY_ confusing.

So, Jesse sprinted to Syrus's house, but found the whole block it was on was on fire. "Hmm, Jaden isn't here." Some random old housewife ran over to Jesse. "Please save my son, he's screaming in there!" Jesse smiled kindly at the woman. "Well, that's probably because he's burning!" He cheerfully skipped away.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice, Yubel had kidnapped Jaden. Jaden didn't mind because Yubel gave him cookies. They had yaoi sprinkles on top. Muse stole one. Darn it, Muse. Heeeey, gimmee one! But then, Johan kicked down the door and walked in because Jesse was taking too long. Besides, Johan has a cooler voice than Jesse. "Back off, Yubel! I have to save Judai from your evil clutches!" Yubel frowned. "This is Jaden, dummy. Judai got kidnapped by the author's rabid weasel, Must or Munk or something. Go find him." Johan turned around and sprinted out the door. "I'm coming, Judai-sama!" Muse giggled. "Hehe, he said 'coming'." "PERVERT!" I yelled, steelin' her yaoi cookie.

Then Jesse ran in and save Jaden from the evil yaoi cookies and gave him a yaoi basket of fried shrimp. "Curse you, Anderson!" Yubel yelled, turning back into an evil demony thingie. And they all lived happily yaoi after…or did they…YOU DECIDE!

**DJG: *dies***

**Muse: "Hee hee hee, I did naughty things!" *holds nose***

**DJG: "What was that! GAH!" *holds nose as well***


	18. Untitled Document

**DJG: "Okay, I'm done ranting from last chapter. I had and idea bludgeoning the side of my head at 2 in the frockin' morning, so I come to type it."**

Without any warning whatsoever (or a proper introduction) all words except dialogue has been deleted. (Blame 4kids)

"What the-? What's going on?"

"Who said that?"

"Me, you idiot."

"No, not you, the other one."

"WHO ARE YOU?"

"Duh. I'm THE CHAZZ, you DORKS!"

"…"

"…"

"Right. And it's Alexis here."

"Where's Jaden?"

"Here I am!"

"Why do you want to know where _he_ is!"

"Wait, where are you?"

"RIGHT HERE!"

"Not you, Chazz! Jaden!"

"What's happenin' over here, soldiers?"

"What does it look like, whoever you are?"

"It's gotta be either Jesse or Hassleberry."

"Hassleberry."

"Everyone just randomly yell your catch phrase, I don't know who's here anymore!"

"Chazz it up!"

"Get your game on!"

"Insert generic army talk here!"

"Aww man! I'm still on anti-depressants but they don't work!"

"I'll make you see the light!"

"Holy s*** it's Sartorious."

"I don't have a catchphrase…Those sexist bas****s! They didn't give me a catchphrase because I'm a girl!"

"Chill out Alexis. Jaden's a girl and they gave him a catchphrase."

"**Shut up Chazz!"**

"I need to fill Zane's angsting quota for him today, I forgot that he asked if I would…bye…sigh…"

"I need to go find Jesse so we can drown Crowler in Spiritshipping fluff. Later."

"Generic army talk!"

"I gotta go plot for vengeance with Sasuke today at the mall, that doosh owes me a cappuccino."

"Since everyone left, I gotta go FIND A COMPETENT STORYLINE!" *stomps away angrily*


	19. Haunted House of DOOOOM! Pt 1

**Muse: "RAWRRRRRRRR!" *smashes keyboard***

**DJG: "Great. Just great. **_**Fantastic**_**. Now I have no way to type the next chapter."**

**Muse: "Hrnnn…"**

**DJG: "Hmm. Muse seems incapable of human speech today."**

**Muse: "Mpppffftt."**

Judai stared up at the big old creepy house with a dead body in the yard and blood on the door. "Yay! It's for sale! Now I can live by myself in peace and tranquility!" He skipped around and did a little dance, before running inside. He came back outside a few minutes later to reduce the For Sale sign to splinters, before running back inside to revel in his new house and all the possessions inside. **(BTW, the house is already furnished.) **

He had a party with himself **(O.o that didn't sound perverted…) **but then got bored and called Sho and Manjoume. "Yeah. No, I just got it. Yeah. No. _NO! _Yes. No. No. Yes. It's the big old creepy house with a dead body in the yard and blood on the door. Yes. No. Maybe. Bye." He hung up before he chugged a Red Bull just to keep his hyper streak going. The doorbell rang. "Dang, that was fast!" He said, before flying to the door to let Sho and Manjoume in. And yes, I said _flew._ Hello, he just chugged a friggin Red Bull! It gives you _win-_Ya know, never mind.

He opened the door and stared in confusion at Sho and Manjoume. Sho had blue bunny ears on and looked dirty, as if he had been dragged. The tips of Manjoume's hair were on fire, and his jacket had neon green paint splattered on it. "You have _NO_ idea what we've been through tonight." Manjoume grumbled. "OKAY THEN!" Judai screamed in his face, running around in circles. What? That's what _I _do when _I _chug Red Bull! Without warning, there was a random crash from upstairs. They all turned towards the stairs, where there were shards of glass on the floor and a few of the bottom steps. "HUH? THAT'S WEIRD!" Judai observed loudly. Manjoume slapped him. The Red Bull wore off. Sho cautiously picked up one of the shards… and screamed loudly, throwing it at the floor. "What?" Manjoume asked in his AW350M3 smexy voice.

"I-it w-was a short little midget! It's EEEEEVIL! It had deformed blue hair and it's gonna kill us all!" Sho wailed. "You…do realize that's a mirror, right?" Judai asked. Suddenly the lights went off. "NOOOOOO! The electric company is plotting against me! They know my one weakness! The _**DARK**_!" Syrus squealed. "Shut _UP!"_ Manjoume yelled at our favorite bluenette that isn't Jesse.

The shards of broken mirror floated into the air, glowing dark blue. "_Get…OUT!"_ A demonic voice snarled. "No!" Judai pouted, sitting down. "My house! _YOU_ GET OUT!" The voice was silent. _No one _had _ever_ spoken to him like that. Holy crap! It creeped him out a little, and _he_ was the ghost. In fact, it reminded him a lot of…

The door suddenly opened, and a tall brunette walked in. "Haou!" Everyone yelled. The brunette in question was identical to Judai because technically he _is_ Judai. But in this world, they're brothers, kk? So, Haou walked in and began having a glaring contest with the shards of mirror.

The mirror suddenly stopped glowing and fell to the floor. Haou grinned. "Haou 1, Mirror, 0." "HAOU!" Judai whined. "I told you when you decided to pick out our house that you weren't allowed to pick a haunted house!" Haou snickered to himself. "Must've slipped my mind." Manjoume took that opportunity to run away since he was no longer the smexiest character there. And then came back because I decided that yes, he is. Then Haou took off his shirt. Manjoume was suddenly very less important to the story.

"Sooo…other than finding out that our house is haunted, what else is new?" Haou asked. Sho pointed to his ears. "I gots me some bunny ears!" Haou made the 'WTF' face. "Alrighty then."

So, Sho went home more than a little scarred for life while Haou pranced around proclaiming how awesome he was. Then, the glowy blue mirror split in two. One was dark blue, the other was _reeeeeallly _light blue. The dark one stalked Haou, and the light one randomly fixed itself and started following Judai around everywhere. Judai was walking to school, when he suddenly turned around and freaked out at it. "AND WILL YOU _STOP_ FOLLOWING ME!" The mirror got all sad and frowny faced. It suddenly showed the image of a bluenette where Judai's reflection should be. "Awwww, garsh darnnit! I'm bored bein' all stuck up in an attic awl day!"

"…"

The authoress suddenly remembered this was Johan, not Jesse. Whoops. Replay those last thirty seconds or so.

The mirror got all sad and frowny faced. It suddenly showed the image of a bluenette where Judai's reflection should have been. "Uhm…no. I'm dead, I honestly have nothing better to do." the ghosty boy said. "OOOOOOH!" Judai cheered. "I ALWAYS WANTED A DEAD FRIEND! Btw, what's your name?" "…Johan…" "HI, JOHAN!" Judai grabbed Johan's arm and pulled him through the mirror, violating the "laws" of this storyline, and dragged him away while yelling, "Let's go get some SHISH KABOBS!"

**DJG: "Be aware that this isn't the end of this chapter. I'll write part two later, cuz next chap will be full of angsty goodies!"**

**Muse: "Yum."**

**DJG: "Oh, sure, NOW you can talk!"**

**Muse: "Yeah, pretty much."**

**DJG: *double face palms***


	20. Haunted House of DOOOOM! Pt 2

**DJG: "I'm not sure, maybe it's just me, but it seems that the **_**FROCKIN ERROR MESSAGES!**_** have returned. In order to celebrate this momentous occasion, there is a tiny mention of them in this chapter."**

**Muse: "Jusht a 'ittle one! Afmedefrein, rum!"**

**DJG: "Dear Lord, are you drunk?"**

**Muse: "Maaaaaaaaybe~!"**

**DJG: "Was what you said before German? When did you learn German?"**

**Muse: "Es spielt keine Rolle, denn ich bin bitumen."**

**DJG: "…what?"**

After Judai and Johan had enjoyed some shish kabobs, or, rather, Judai did while Johan stared at him, they went back to the haunted house of wonder and _eeeeeeeeevvvviiilll._ Then they decided to do something naughty. Minds out of the gutter, people! Johan's _dead_, for crying out loud! Anyway, they decided to prank Jehu and Haou, since they naturally assumed there would be no consequences for their actions. I mean, seriously, this was _Haou_ and _Jehu_. They could take a joke. Right? Right?

**Later…**

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU JOHAN!" Jehu yelled, chasing the poor bluenette. Haou had Judai in a chokehold dangling out the third story window, seething furiously. Johan's joke really wasn't that big of a deal, he had just doodled a goatee, devil horns, and a Hitler mustache on Jehu's mirror, so when he went back into it, his face looked retarded. Judai had gone…a bit too far. He had dyed Haou's hair NEON pink while he was asleep, and then made him a purple daisy chain as a necklace, before waking him up by dumping Pharaoh on his face. Thus, the strangulation and dangling from tall buildings.

The whole house suddenly shook violently, and Haou's grip slipped. "Damn!" He yelled, going for Judai's hand rather than throat. "Holy crap!" Judai screamed as the ground turned to molten fruit loops. Haou's daisy chain fell off and hit them. It exploded violently. "Ssssssoookay. Don't fall onto the molten cereal. That's goal number one for today." Jehu, meanwhile, was bawling. He had run to the hospital and back, and had learned he had contracted a one-chapter OOC virus. "OH THE HUMANITY!" he wailed. Johan was majikally off dancing in rainbow world, unaware that his fan rating was going down since Haou had to save Judai since he was gone.

Then reality hit him. "Oh shit. If I don't save Judai, I'll become one of those side-characters that were _once_ important but then a smexier character came along and they weren't important anymore! Like Sho! And Hassleberry! And Manjoume! Or, my popularity might sink as low as Hayato's, and they might send me back to North Academy! Who gives if it doesn't exist since episode 26! Nooo, don't send me back to that lonely iceberg!" Johan stood up and sprinted out of rainbow world. "I'M COMING, JUDAI!"

Jehu was still suffering from his OOC virus. "Why iz all dis happening!" He screamed to the heavens above. "It's caused by the frockin error messages. This was going to be an average story with ghosts, pranks, and mansex, but then the frockin error messages had to ruin that. You see that mountain of molten cereal? That is Frockin Error Message 1. Kill it, and your front lawn will be cool and groovy again." The heavens above that sounded suspiciously like a Ken doll answered.

"No! My job is to go get rip-roaring drunk and play beer pong with my fangirls! Killing that thing can be that freaky blue haired kid's job!"

"Me!" Sho squealed, popping up from underneath a couch cushion. Jehu stared at him. "Nooo, I meant Johan actually. …How long have you been under there?" Sho sighed, putting his head in his hands. "Since The Haunted House of DOOOOM! Pt 1."

"Dang. That's a long time."

"Not really. Hassleberry has been a girl since chapter five."

"Daaaaaaang. That reminds me of a math equation. Hassleberry +girl parts=Tania. **(Thanks Midami Uchiha of the sand) **

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. At least I don't have a PMSing disorder like Manjoume." Sho said. "HEY! I do not have a-yeah, I know." Manjoume said, popping up from the cushion next to Sho.

Jehu calmly kicked them out of the front door, ignoring their screams of pain and terror as they were eaten by molten fruit loops. Then he went and hid under the couch cushions. "Hey! There's a PS3 under here! And since when did I say Chazz could use my TV!"

As soon as Johan got to the house, he saw this was not something he could conquer alone. "Chumley, c'mere!" He yelled out to some random fatass walking by. The kid looked confused, but came over. "Eat this!" he commanded, pushing the kid face first into the hot, gooey cereal. "Nom nom nom." Fat Kid responded, inhaling the fruit loopy goodness.

Then, randomly, Jehu and Johan both fell over and had random convulsions, until, suddenly, they were both poofed into bodies of normal, alive human beings. And they still looked the same, knew who Judai and Haou were, and didn't have to suffer consequences for breaking the life/death continuum. **(Is there even such a thing?)** Then they all went and had yaoi buttsecks. Oh yeah, and Sho and Manjoume were majikally revived. The end. **(Now fuck off!)**


	21. Whoops! Evil Zombies!

**DJG: "Le gasp! I am not dead! The Muse went on vacation in North Montana, and didn't** **come back for…exactly twenty-one days. SO! I am here to notify everyone that the next chapter will be a self insert, because God knows we **_**all **_**love those."**

**Muse: "Reviews are the evil to my mastermind!"**

It was an evil, creepy night at Duel Academy. Some guy who wants to destroy the earth and has too much free time decided to spend his entire life's savings and retirement fund to build a gigantic machine that will make everyone on Academy Island into the undead. Or something. Because turning around four hundred fifteen-year-old children enrolled at a school devoted to teaching people how to play a souped-up version of Go Fish is crucial to world domination. I guess. So the evil guy, who we're gonna call Bellien Wowler, an obvious reference to Crowler, unleashed his evil cloud of magic…magicalness stuff. Amazingly, Jaden, Jesse, Syrus, Alexis, Chazz, and Zane (where'd he come from?) were amazingly unaffected, because if they were there would be no plot.

"What is going on!" yelled Chazz, since he always yells everything he says. "It appears that everyone has been turned into zombies. Which really doesn't make much sense to use in a TV show about a children's card game, but even worse is the fact that they already used it before in canon! So now I'm going to sit here and blubber and be all OOC. Please, continue without me." Zane said, sitting down and blowing bubbles. Never mind where he got them from! Quit being so nosy, foo!

So everyone else left Zane to do his bubble blowing and went off on a long hike through the jungle. Because that's what everyone does when zombies are taking over the island you're on. You take a hike through a jungle. At least they do in Scooby Doo on Zombie Island.

Jaden, being Jaden, decided that whenever they found the one responsible, that he would face him in a duel, as if the whole zombie thing was personal and was all his fault or some other angsty bullshit. What the fuck ever. The rest of the gang (wow, this really IS Scooby Doo!) spent at least half the episode explaining to him how it would be a bad idea to just run in to fight the bad guy unprepared, thus teaching the children at home watching the show a valuable lesson that they will benefit from later in life. Or something.

Then, they decided the best option would be to stumble into the bad guy's lair totally on accident, since that is WAAAAAY better than marching in unprepared. "Muahahaha, it is I, Bellian Wowler, an obvious reference to Crowler!" he said, dancing on a table. "Why, oh _why _are you _doing_ this!" Alexis wailed like a little damsel in distress. "Because the plot calls for it! Now shut up while I reveal my evil plan to you all so you can unmistakably begin my downfall!" He said, dangling from a chandelier.

He squirted some Villian Germ-Off on his hands and began rubbing them together in a villainy way. Why, you ask? Because all villains use the same brand of hand sanitizer! Anyway, he began to explain, in full detail and with charts and diagrams, his evil plan. But first he treated everyone to tea and cookies.

"I decided being old is boring, so I came up with this _brilliant _plan to overthrow the nursing home! No one will be able to stand up to my army of zombie card playing teenagers!"

Jesse stood up. "No one except-" Blair suddenly popped into existence and socked him in the mouth. "Charmershipping 4evah, fooz!1111cherry cheesecake!" she yelled, standing on Jaden's head. "Noooooooooooooo!" Bellian Wowler, an obvious reference to Crowler, wailed. "My evil plan, foiled it seems, by a Charmershipping fangirl!" He then melted into a puddle of squishy useless villain juice. Blair gave it the finger before ninja poofing away. "And don't you forget it, bitch!"

And so the day was saved, as it usually is, by a useless loud person, a crazy fangirl, and a guy who likes to make every little thing his problem. Hey, are you sure this isn't the Naruto category?


End file.
